Have you ever been humbled by a water park trip?

Dear JAMMers,

Jaclyn is marked safe from parenting in a different location, I mean vacation.

I consciously did not have a child until my mid-30s. I stand by this choice. So many winding roads led me to my husband and a time when I felt ready to have a baby. I would not change anything about this choice.

But then, I went to a water park resort...with a 31-pound, 20-month-old who cannot do stairs. Also, it is the middle of winter; the most germ-filled time of year.

Pretty instantly, I realized why my mother always wrestled us into water shoes (even when we were in high school and fought her like hell). Just looking around at the sheer volume of people and children in diapers gave me the ick. So many kids were sneezing and coughing without covering their mouths. I was on high alert.

Once I got over that initial bump, we went to the splash park. An unsteady 20-month-old has never been more confident about running at full speed. I bent over to catch his head...which was less than an inch from crashing into something multiple times.

Mid-day through day one, my lower back was aching and my biceps were getting sore from carrying my nugget and keeping him safe in this giant indoor water park.

He had the time of his life, while I had a lot of Advil.

You know when you see joke videos on social media that show a parent on a stair climber with a backpack and a doll sitting on their shoulders? I now have a new appreciation, because while it is satire (like this essay), it is also very necessary.

Our hotel room was a 4-minute walk from the elevator and our wobbly walker insisted on walking independently the whole way. So with him present, it took about 8 minutes. This means forgetting something in the room was a 20-minute event.

As I climbed up to the highest ride with my 7-year-old niece, I got flashbacks to my childhood. My father, who worked 80+ hours/week, would carry two double tubes up dozens and dozens of stairs. His pace was that of a light jog. How the hell did he do this?

Well sure, he was probably in better shape than I am today, but I also realized one major difference. He started having kids 10 years earlier than I did. If my legs were 10 years younger, I could surely have more stamina with my giant little man.

At lunch, I wished they had healthier options on the menu. I realized again how "old" I am to be in this season of my life. If I were 25, I would down fried chicken nuggs without a thought. Let's add a milkshake, too!

"I have to work out more," I thought, as I needed a hand to get out of the super-low sand chair. I have a few more months to build strength before taking my son to a theme park this summer. Better start the squats now.

All this to say, we had the time of our lives and already plan to return next February break.

What can I say...parenthood is a walking contradiction.

No worries,

Jaclyn