Reflecting on my first part-time summer in 17 years

Dear JAMMers,

“Diva is a female version of a hustla,” according to Beyonce. Then I am a Diva. 

I have hustled and worked hard for as long as I can remember. My parents didn’t have to worry about my grades or attendance because I was born having the highest possible expectations of myself.  I recently found a diary from 8th grade where I was so devastated that I “bombed” my final with a score of……….88.

So yes, I am in therapy for over-achieving and perfectionism #bornthisway.

Anyway, I have been working summers since I was 18 years old.  When I was 21, I entered the full-time corporate world of advertising in New York.  Even when the “cool” tech companies tout things like Summer Fridays, you work 50+ hour weeks no matter what.

In 2023, I had my first child.  My amazing son shifted the entire paradigm of my thoughts, feelings, and decisions.  Also in 2023, our family endured tremendous loss, illness, and hardships.  Unexpectedly, we found my husband at the helm of his father’s business by himself.  Beyond the excruciating grief, we had to rebuild our life and family dynamic in two ways.

Having grown up with a father who was a small business owner, I know this life.  I know how it goes. There are sacrifices, exhaustion, and an unrelenting need for a marriage to be a masterclass in teamwork.  If you are lucky like me, you have the most incredibly dedicated mother and father who make this as seamless as can be for their children.  I now see as an adult how hard it was for them.   My gratitude for the life they provided me and for my husband’s partnership is endless.  More on that in a future entry.

In the wake of all the change, I decided to leave my very cushy and lucrative tech job to work part-time.  The new schedule allowed me time to mentally adjust to the new way of living and provided more flexibility for my family.  This most likely cannot be a long-term strategy, so I am trying to reflect on what I learned and gained from the short-term.

{Disclaimer: I planned ahead and saved for months to financially endure this big of a change.  I have an incredible support system and family.}

Here are some observations and memories I will take away from the summer of 2024:

1. This cannot be the earth that I grew up on. 

The humidity in NYC is truly alarming at times.  It is “hell’s front porch” weather for 3 entire months.

2. Dear God, why aren’t the NY parkways/highways double deckers?  

The densest population in the country, in the era of ride-sharing - and we’re rocking with 2-3 lanes. I just want to frolic on the beach and be home before the sun goes down.  Can I do that from the city? Not really…

3. I went to the beach 4 times.  4! 

This is more than triple the amount I have been able to make it to the beach over the last couple of years.  Before I turned 18, I would probably have summers where I went to the beach 3-4 times per month from May-August.  Yet, these 4 times are so cherished, because they would not be possible without my flexible schedule and because I had my little man with me.  His Dad disdains beach life, but I adore it.  We will see where our son lands (hint, he adores it thus far).

4. I saw my parents, nieces, nephews, and cousins probably 3-4x as often as any other summer.  

It cannot be understated how special this is.

5. I took almost as many pictures this summer as I did during the first 2 weeks of my son’s life (>500 pictures).

6. This one is critical - I had more workouts, sleep and higher quality sleep than other summers since I was 17.  

I am a dedicated part-time employee, but it does not overtake your headspace and your subconscious nearly as much as a full-time, high-pressure sales role did. Also, there is nothing like a post-workout shower + post-shower nap.  I am lucky that my son is a pretty routine sleeper.  If I play my cards right and get my work-work and housework done, like once a week I can snag a nap while he naps.  The dream.

7. This one is the most critical - I got to swing open my son’s bedroom door and see his ear-to-ear smile almost every morning.   

My commuting schedule did not allow me to do that while I was full-time.  Starting my day with a cuddle and leisurely breakfast creates a core memory as a mom that I will never forget.

I know it is unlikely I can continue this schedule for long or for future children.  This may very well be the only summer until I retire that I can afford to work part-time. But I will still hold these mornings close to my heart forever.

PS - For anyone in the newborn or postpartum trenches - I was there in 2023. I can confirm that next summer will be so magical. You will have an incredible, curious, excited toddler ready to take on the world. You can do it!

No worries,

Jaclyn