Why Millennial women are stopping in their tracks when they see the women's section at Target

Dear JAMMers,

Palms are sweaty,

Knees weak,

Arms are heavy.

No, I am not in an amateur Eminem cover band.  I am describing shopping in the women’s section at Target. 

The ‘90’s comeback really is as strong as Tay Tay says.

Thin horizontal stripes.  Bucket hats. Rounded collar shirts.  Oh zippers, so many scratchy zippers. Varsity font. HAIR RIBBONS!

Listen, I have been plus-size since I hit puberty.  I’m not afraid of a shopping challenge. Dressing my tall and pear-shaped self has been both an art and a war - even before I got pregnant.  

Fashion is my first love - well after Beyonce, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, dance… ok, I have a lot of first loves I guess. 

Anyway, some context - I had my first child 14 months ago and I used to be a buyer; I’ve made a living on fashion. Yet, I have no effing clue how to dress my postpartum body. 

I don’t like baggy jeans on my shape (this isn’t a self-love thing, it just is a true preference).  But when I wear my skinny jeans, I feel like everyone is staring at me thinking, “Look, she can’t afford to own her home. She’s a millennial.” 

I thought shopping was stressful just because of all the changes to my body and the expense of replacing my wardrobe.  But no - I’ve identified the root problem:

The first time we saw these fashions, we millennials were teenagers.  We just were going through puberty, our bodies were changing, our hormones were surging and we had to find our style and confidence. I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.  All in a world of supermodels on magazine covers and MTV.

Well shit, 20 years later and I am in PRECISELY the same place for a wildly different reason. 

My body is changing, my hormones are surging and I have to re-find my style and confidence.  All in a world where we have this device in our hands at all times where filters and airbrushing is ubiquitous and regular people appear as supermodels on their social media. 

For some, these trends glaring at you from the shelves is triggering. It brings our minds back to a time when we were finding ourselves as women. 

Here are some tips I have found for myself (over many tough months) that could be helpful to you:

1. Size up (and find your way to be okay with it) and tailor as needed

We are bending down to pick up Legos.  We have toddlers pulling at our shirt collars to get our attention.  The back hems are not long enough and the v-necks are too low for everyday wear in this phase of life. It feels like the designers are not considering us moms in their product functionality. 

Believe me, I have sat in big-box retail design meetings and every consumer gets sorted into boxes. You are either a bargain shopper or a luxury shopper, a “young” or an “old,” etc. Few brands pay attention to the bridge audiences.  I just bought myself the mini stitch gun from Amazon many influencers are showing on social media.  Hopefully that helps with quick tailoring needs too. (This is not an ad)

2. If something fits you well, buy it in multiple colors/styles

My aunt taught me this when I was about 7 years old while back-to-school shopping and she is - as always - 100% right.  

3.  Donate the clothes you don’t like anymore or don’t think will fit again, and then document it for a tax write off.  

The amount of sparkly club tops I got rid of when I turned 32 was humbling.  Will I ever wear a halter top that won’t allow me to wear a bra again?  No.  Also, this tip helps me justify the costs of replacing my wardrobe.  “It’s a write off,” as David Rose would exclaim.  Simply Google your state with “clothing donation tax prep” and be on your way.

4. Don’t be afraid to try brands or styles that you associate as “your mother’s clothes.”

Full disclosure - this one was the hardest for me.  I bought a Lands’ End dress from a Facebook ad and while I was really freaked out that this ad even found me (I must be getting old).

To my delight, I have never felt more confident than when I wore this dress. AND GUESS WHAT! The quality is amazing.  Fast fashion ruins the earth, your washing machine and your wallet.  There are times in our lives when we need it for sure. But if you need a pick me up - and if you can - invest in high-quality brands.

For me, brands like Lands’ End, Spanx, LOFT, Vince Camuto, etc have been accessible and confidence-boosting. Since you may be new to them, you can sign up for emails or SMS texts and save with coupons. (Again, this is not an ad)

5. You don’t have to wear things that are on trend if they don’t work for you. 

Marie Kondo wants our household clutter to spark joy to stay - and that’s how we should be looking at our closets.

If you had one shot or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment (shopping trip), would you capture it - or just let it slip?

PS- While I hope these 5 things help, you don’t NEED any help, girl.  Because you are fire exactly as is.  You eat on a daily basis.  No cap.  Is that how “the kids” would say it?

PPS - Don’t be lazy like me.  Return your returns in a timely manner! It’s like found money.

No worries,

Jaclyn